PRIORITIES

Priorities can be instinctive, a gut feeling on the order of how things should be categorised. Equally they can be a choice, a decision on which order to place emphasis. Being true to your intrinsic values will inform which priorities are to have focus which makes it complex when trying to understand why others place weight on certain priorities.

What does it say about you, your values, self esteem and self worth if you consistently allow yourself to be a low priority in either your own or someone else’s life?

That gnawing gut feeling of not being a priority in someone elses world is a daunting emotion to process, especially when you desire to be. It sits in the pit of your stomach, making you feel light-headed and sad. It can be set aside mentally and emotionally, however over time the cumulative effect starts to hurt deeply and eventually words need to be spoken.

Finding your voice is challenging when the preference is to avoid anything that might remotely feel or lead to confrontation. Part of my journey is to find my words and use them, not silence them, and my feelings, as I’ve done painfully in the past. Admittedly it will often take me time to speak out, as I question my feelings and thoughts, meanwhile suffering the consequences silently. But I’m starting to speak and I need to be heard.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of me questioning where I sit with your priorities, please know that I’ve felt sad and gutted many times and it’s taken a lot to speak. I hope you can listen and encourage me and then hold my hand, and carefully, gently, encourage speech and conversation. It does not mean that my thoughts are accurate, nor does it mean that you have done anything wrong, it just means that there needs to be a conversation about how to move forward lovingly. I’m only just learning to use my voice, please be patient and kind and talk to me so I can dream tonight xx

INTUITION

Intuition can be an intense inner feeling of knowing. Often it won’t make sense as it operates between conscious and unconscious thought so pay attention to your dreams.

It doesn’t tell you what you want to hear but rather what you need to hear. It can be a deep gut feeling, a sense, a feeling of knowing that can’t be explained, something doesn’t feel quite right, listen. It can be a whisper or a scream. I am accustomed to the whisper, it’s reassuring. I’ve also had volume and I’ve tried to ignore it, it was very unsettling and I wasn’t open to it, I didn’t want to know. In the end, intuition was accurate resulting in a massive life change. Pay attention, always.

I had physical signs too, repetitive things happened that could not be cast off as coincidence. There were strong visual signals, not surprising given that I connect best with imagery. They threw me off course, but I attempted to provide myself with explanations and hastily tried to store them away out of sight. Those images played on my mind and I revisited them often, not by choice, again quickly moving them out of my thoughts as soon as they entered.

The feeling can be intense because in your heart and gut you know that something is wrong, there’s an overwhelming feeling of danger. It can also be the opposite, a warm feeling of inner peace because you know it’s all going to be okay. Some people see or hear things and others feel them.

Being present filters out distraction, making it easier and clearer to listen to intuition. So clear the life clutter, sit still and quiet and listen.