INTUITION

Intuition can be an intense inner feeling of knowing. Often it won’t make sense as it operates between conscious and unconscious thought so pay attention to your dreams.

It doesn’t tell you what you want to hear but rather what you need to hear. It can be a deep gut feeling, a sense, a feeling of knowing that can’t be explained, something doesn’t feel quite right, listen. It can be a whisper or a scream. I am accustomed to the whisper, it’s reassuring. I’ve also had volume and I’ve tried to ignore it, it was very unsettling and I wasn’t open to it, I didn’t want to know. In the end, intuition was accurate resulting in a massive life change. Pay attention, always.

I had physical signs too, repetitive things happened that could not be cast off as coincidence. There were strong visual signals, not surprising given that I connect best with imagery. They threw me off course, but I attempted to provide myself with explanations and hastily tried to store them away out of sight. Those images played on my mind and I revisited them often, not by choice, again quickly moving them out of my thoughts as soon as they entered.

The feeling can be intense because in your heart and gut you know that something is wrong, there’s an overwhelming feeling of danger. It can also be the opposite, a warm feeling of inner peace because you know it’s all going to be okay. Some people see or hear things and others feel them.

Being present filters out distraction, making it easier and clearer to listen to intuition. So clear the life clutter, sit still and quiet and listen.

BOUNDARIES

Boundary setting is most definitely not a strong point of mine. I can be a straight shooter but will often avoid setting boundaries to avert conflict. Situations escalate and then become too big to impose boundaries. Then there’s a decision, continue to participate or leave. Leaving causes confusion to the boundary encroacher as there is no awareness of a problem. My growth lies in setting firm boundaries from the outset that are apparent to others, so apparent in fact that they are crystal clear.

That gut feeling in my stomach when boundaries have been crossed, the feeling of frustration and that lump in my throat when I hang onto words, speechless. The lump in my throat is audible when I speak, it causes constriction, making breathing difficult. I’m determined to find my voice again, and use it, not hang onto words in an effort to keep the peace. I promise myself to find the best way I can to say what I feel in a kind and healthy way and that means finding my voice and courageously using it.

Self-respect. Self-worth. Preserving the essence of who I am, only allowing those worthy to cross that invisible line. Some will never accept my boundaries, some will be unsupportive, that’s with them. Accept my boundaries or move on. Ta ra.