TEST

What’s a test? It’s usually a tool to find out what you know. But it can also be a strategic move to try and find out where you really stand in an equation. It’s risky as it could mean that you discover that actually you rank pretty much at the bottom.

That happened to me tonight. I found out that I don’t mean much at all, I’m an ant, smaller than that, a pinhead, a grain of sand, a cell. I may as well be. I’m infinitesimal, minute, camouflaging into the masses, yet I’m still here and I need to be heard. I can yell but it makes no sound, I can scream but it’s silent. Again. So I’m not going to bother, my energy is conserved; for me; for once. And that feels right.

Why test?...because intrinsically I know that I mean nothing; I’m a fleeting snowstorm, unique in it’s own way, changeable, interesting. But then I’m gone, gone, gone, never to come back.

I’m a nothing <.

ANCHORS

Anchor. Anchoring. Stability. A sense of being grounded. To be grounded is self-belief and a trust in personal values. Without values, you’re adrift, off course. Values provide centredness, holding you steady.

Values are an inner gauge to direct behaviours and attitudes. They’re intuitive and operate in the background. There are endless values, here are my top 5; authenticity, balance, compassion, contribution and kindness.

Authenticity is being genuine and real, true to yourself. Balance is leading a centred life, keeping all parts in harmony. Compassion is about being a good person, offering a loving heart and understanding another person at a soul level, without judgement or expectation. Contribution is giving back, understanding that you are part of a whole. Kindness is concern and consideration for others and their circumstances. If you can be anything, absolutely be kind.

These 5 values form my anchor, bringing me back to me intrinsically, sending signals when things are askew. The only one to be truly relied upon, is yourself. The only one that can be moulded and changed, is yourself. The only one who will always be a constant, is yourself. Me, my anchor.

Water allures me, it’s a gravitational pull that’s always touched my soul and left me happiest, it’s around water that I feel most ‘grounded’. There’s a special electrical energy present in the ground. When grounded, it leaves you centred, strong and balanced. I feel at my most grounded around water.

Grounded. Anchored. Held firm, not tight, slightly adrift. That’s me.