APOLOGY

It takes a strong person to stand up and apologise. I admire that.

When you’re not in the wrong and no apology is forthcoming it’s so hurtful, isolating. The feeling is dejection and loneliness.

I like a person who can apologise, it says a lot. It’s a loving soul that would rather admit they were wrong than have the last say or hold the silence.

Holding silence is controlling, it’s abusive. There’s nothing loving in that. I’ve been there, it’s painfully familiar. I lose my voice entirely, get lost in space.

Silence is loud. It’s uncomfortable and lonely. I don’t like the space. At all. Yet maybe that’s where the growth is, where you not only learn about the other, but about yourself.

CONDITIONAL LOVE

True love is unconditional, zero expectation. It’s a wholehearted love, adoration, unselfish.

Unconditional love about communication. If you love someone truly, and if you’re a good person, then you want to see the other person happy and flourishing, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Communication is kind and lacks judgement. There’s no room for mind games, no time to withhold how you feel, no space to create doubt in the other. It’s about honest and transparent communication of feelings, the alternative is about control.

Unconditional love is not complete without self-love. Security and self belief are a good foundation to love another. It means you’re already whole and don’t need to take from another to feel good. It’s loving someone deeply for who they are, not for what they do for you.

Conditional love waits for a return. It leads to resentment, bitterness and disappointment if expectations are not met, unattractive qualities.

Conditional ‘love’ is not love in my eyes. Conditions mean control and control is not a way to love. Control is dissatisfaction, it’s a desire for change, manipulation and that’s a warped type of love. Manipulation is abusive, it plays with another soul, it’s confusing and isolating. NOT love.

Conditional love is not love. Unconditional love is where it’s at.