Time has a value. People have values. What if someone else’s time allocation does not match your values? To consistently feel like you are at the tail end of someones priorities as time is moved around and you are expected to without question, adapt, is confusing, annoying and then gutting. It can probably be accepted for a while, but in time, feelings of frustration and neglect tear away at self worth.
Even worse is if communication is stonewalled leaving isolation and a deep feeling of despair. Choices made, leave a face slapping sense of reality and an understanding that there will never be understanding.
Stoney silence, a dark room and a sad heart.
priorities
JUDGEMENT
Living life authentically leads to personal freedom. I believe that living a free life is truly listening to your inner soul and responding.
What has personally crippled me is judgement. Judgement, if I choose to listen, crushes my soul. But living a life where judgement has always been an underlying and even an overarching constant is hard to ignore. I choose not to listen anymore.
I am saying no more to judgement. Judgement has inhibited my decisions, cast self doubt, killed my confidence, dimmed my creativity and left me deeply sad so many times. I identify it, and I’m going to change some lifetime relationships and enforce some boundaries. I can’t be truly me with that judgement following me.
I want to live life with my priorities sorted. Life’s completely about being a good person, about treasuring those special people in life and holding them close. It’s also about letting go, letting go of toxic energy and unhealthy minded people, just breathing out and quietly letting them go, not with hate, not with anything, just saying goodbye. Not looking back, perhaps glancing, but only momentarily to reflect, then looking forward again where the real energy is.
I believe in real love, not absent-minded lust but true, deep love, soul mate stuff...‘I’ve met you before, I’m so sure of it’. The sort of love that hurts, that leaves you wondering what it’s all been about before. Deep feelings that resonate with your soul. The feeling of meeting someone so perfect for you that you can’t believe you have waited this long, where have they been all your life? The sort of person that is so intrinsically beautiful that you can’t help but love them and want them to be all they can be without wanting to change a thing about them. True love.
Life is for living, I have so many passions and dreams that can’t wait any longer. Yeah sure many of them have always been there and I’ve moved in the direction of them at times to varying degrees, but not for so many years have I actually felt that huge desire as I do. I’m not waiting anymore and that’s why boundaries are being set and I’m saying a firm NO to judgement.