Starkly alone. Aching heart and a deep seated sense of dread. Isolated for weeks, if not more. Day one, hard, horrid. Silence, people stop, life is paused in a warped time-zone. I have never felt so alone in my life.
Feeling it, letting it sit, it tries to take hold. I’m quiet, contemplative, sad, deeply sad. Panicked, I want my old life back, the one where there was a future, options, excitement. This one has a sense of doom, spiralling out of control. Where does the future lie?
Time to reflect on what was and what is, time to plan for what is and what will be. Lots of time to think, too much time. Solitary, alone.
For now there is no choice but to bear it. Day one of a sentence I don’t wish to be fucking part of, but I am, so is everybody.
26 March - 283 coronavirus cases in New Zealand, 78 new cases
